the magnetic lamb shank.

 

everywhere i would go i was followed by the shank. at a

distance of 4 feet it plagued me, and if i turned and

tried to grab it, it too would turn and the poles now

reversed, would stay 4 ft in front – like two magnets

chasing each other. some times i would try to trick it

and after turning a corner attempt to pounce upon it.

but there was something smart inside that slab of meat.

sometimes i would try to lock it behind a bolted door,

or i would leap into a closing elevator in an attempt

to shake it off. but i would hear it slidin against the

door and scrabbling to find a path towards me. it was

as if it was invisibly tied to me with some industrial

piece of elastic, and the further i got away from it

the harder it would come at me when the path was clear.

like a heat seeking missile that piece of sheep would

slam into me like george foreman. i soon learned not to

evade the shank. people would see it moving behind me

and would assume it was a little dog, only to be

horrified by that leg bone and shoulder.

 

when courting

i would douse it liberally with aftershave, throw a rug

over it and hope for the best.

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3 Responses to the magnetic lamb shank.

  1. Lauri says:

    I want a lamb shank to follow me around. In fact….I'll bet I already HAD one and my dogs ate it! Darned dogs!

  2. Sheep shanks are shady shanks!

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