three scottish caves

professor john prenderghast once said that 90% of scotland was caves, though this was later shown to be impossible and a downright lie, there are indeed many caves of which the following three are noteworthy.


the longest cave:

on the outskirts of monreith, this cave is so large, and therefore the echo from

this cave is so slow, that the echoes you hear are from shouts made in 1940.

couples now long dead, giggling children long grown up and bedridden, and

conversations regarding the weight of churchill, can all be heard returning from

their slow journey.


the marmaduke cave:

located near peebles, this cave is very odd, and if old newspaper strips of

marmaduke are read aloud into the cave, the cave will chuckle, or not, as is the

norm with old marmaduke newspaper strips.


the sirloin cave:

located high up in glencoe, upon a few seconds of a querying cry of 'ECHO?',  a

tender peice of sirloin steak will be hurled from the pitch black rear of the

cave and will invariably slap you across the face. no one knows if the large

stockpile of meat will ever run out or even where it comes from, and many think

it best not to ask, as is the case with the nearby tampon cave.

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4 Responses to three scottish caves

  1. AmyH says:

    I'd love to know how your brain works as well, but just as with the last two caves you mention – it's best not to ask. Thank you for the chuckles.

  2. i edited the last cave, even for me it was too awful. you were just too quick at reading amy!

  3. cha0tic says:

    Have you got the OS Grid reference for the Sirloin cave? I want to take a barbecue up there.

  4. no need to drag a barbecue up there, just pick one up, the barbecue cave is just further along next to the firelighter cave and the lighter fluid cave.

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