professor john prenderghast once said that 90% of scotland was caves, though this was later shown to be impossible and a downright lie, there are indeed many caves of which the following three are noteworthy.
the longest cave:
on the outskirts of monreith, this cave is so large, and therefore the echo from
this cave is so slow, that the echoes you hear are from shouts made in 1940.
couples now long dead, giggling children long grown up and bedridden, and
conversations regarding the weight of churchill, can all be heard returning from
their slow journey.
the marmaduke cave:
located near peebles, this cave is very odd, and if old newspaper strips of
marmaduke are read aloud into the cave, the cave will chuckle, or not, as is the
norm with old marmaduke newspaper strips.
the sirloin cave:
located high up in glencoe, upon a few seconds of a querying cry of 'ECHO?', a
tender peice of sirloin steak will be hurled from the pitch black rear of the
cave and will invariably slap you across the face. no one knows if the large
stockpile of meat will ever run out or even where it comes from, and many think
it best not to ask, as is the case with the nearby tampon cave.