" Walter McMurphy, The Fastest Kid on Earth "
upon his birth, walters mother suffered from a rare disease that affected her vision, making ordinary life appear as if in slow motion, languid and creeping. in order to cope, she purchased a very fast motorcycle and sidecar and travelled everywhere at breakneck speed.
walters mother removed the sidecar from the motorbike, dumped it, and after removing 3 of its 4 wheels replaced it with his perambulator. she would roar around damaging his hearing on her new bike and sidepram.
virtually abandoning a life on two legs they travelled all over glasgow, then the length and breadth of the country, then on to the rest of europe, then the world.
it came to be then that walters mother became adept at nappy changing her son whilst changing gear and at burping her child whilst signalling right.
it also came to be then, that walter became adept at eating foods whilst cornering, at doing homework on cobblestone and at reading junior fiction at 68mph
what walter missed out on in normal schooling, he made up for in first hand experience. there was no muddy battlefield they had not traversed firsthand, no world wonder they did not blur past, there was no peoples they had not encountered whilst helping weary hitchhikers.
then one day while zooming through a cornfield, the engine petered out and trundled to a gentle halt. walters mother had quietly passed away.
walter then had to adjust to life at a very gentle speed, at a very quiet level. he met a girl. a librarian. and they fell in love.
after his mother died the bike never worked the same and it quickly deteriorated without his mothers touch. finally he drove it teary-eyed into the woods and left it. to where mother nature slowly and imperceptably took hold and reclaimed it for herself.