Monthly Archives: April 2009

out of contract glasgow beauty pageant winners available for work, openings, birthdays, ceremony etc

  miss pure maple syrup miss m74 miss plug socket miss cathode ray tubeBUSY miss peanut butter cups BUSY miss prodan and sons extra strong bleach miss black and decker miss stannah stairliftsBUSY miss datsun cherry miss metal detector miss … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 13 Comments

a tale of Junior Ringbaum age 13 squatter and bad seed. claggy and distasteful but well paragraphed.

As prospective murdering ne'er-do-well, my grounding has not prepared me well. I have no long lost uncle serving time, no cruel parent and no monstrous sibling kept locked in the attic/cellar. i have not been regularly beaten, held hostage or overforced to eat my … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

supermarket jumper

5 minutes in each supermarket then a bright flash of light. then another supermarket, then another, endless supermarkets.  this was George Troppmans fate, to jump from supermarket to supermarket.  trying to price right what once was priced wrong.  trying to … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 7 Comments

the mute singer

  it was those abominable creatures the critics who inflicted the charlatan upon us, them and the snobs.crowds would que up to see this straining overweight mute.  people would sit there.  often leaning forward in their seats, trying to detect … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments

1 week dry

the party was out near the end of the line.  i paid return fare, but i neednt have bothered for part of me remained there for good and the rest of me had missed the last train anyway.  the country that … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

the motorbike and sidepram

or "   Walter McMurphy, The Fastest Kid on Earth   "   upon his birth, walters mother suffered from a rare disease that affected her vision, making ordinary life appear as if in slow motion, languid and creeping.   in order to … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment


  as this note is being written Gilfuttock & Co is being dismantled and dispersed, and the decline of Glasgow as the major centre of fake athletic trophies has reached a further stage.   the business was a partnership of … Continue reading

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment