Last year the Blog of Navarone ran a full-page advertisement for Horton’s bath salts. The Company of Navarone received substantial payment for the advertisement which was then spent on liquor and cheap, loose moraled women. It has come to light however that Mr Horton had believed this would be a colour advertisement and though happy with the general layout and theme of the piece, was unhappy with the lack of colour and is suing us forthwith.
So as to avoid a messy and drawn out court tussle, we the B.O.N. ask you yourselves, the readership, to print out the black and white advert on your own home printer and to then colour-in the printed advert so as to placate the court happy Mr Horton. if lacking good quality printer paper, perhaps readership will prefer to draw straight onto the computer screen or monitor with felt tip pens or crayon.
The colour on the gentleman’s coat was to be a vivid blue (PANTONE 2685 C) approaching purple almost around the lapels. He had a ruddy, teak-like flesh with the sweat glistening with a violet blue (PANTONE 2587 C) reflected from the jacket. The lady’s flesh was more of a peach colour (PANTONE 1215 C) with a raspberry essence (PANTONE 207 C) around the cheeks and thighs. Her hair was a vivid yellow-orange (PANTONE 1375 C) similar to what one might imagine a furry pocket of sunshine. Where the curls met her shoulders the shadow was a burnt umber (PANTONE 1395 C) excepting around the oaksters where it was closer to burnt sienna (PANTONE 1385 C). The upturned bath was to be a wash of silvery, peacock blues (PANTONE 267 C). By all means feel free to inject your own personal gusto into the piece with cross hatching or shading whilst ensuring the general feel of Horton’s bath salts continues to come through. Please stick accurately to the colour instructions given.
Finally dear readership can we just say that if the majority of you continue to sue us then we will have no money to come anywhere close to fulfilling past agreements made. It should also always be remembered that when we give our ‘word’ it is in a loose unfixed way, and that when we ‘shake on it’ it is in a limp Brutus-like fashion.