the bath fills quickly,
and many an absent minded guest has returned to a niagara.
the door handles are loose, there being a shortage of screws.
the stairs are mopped by a wandered elderly gentleman every 25 mins and are perpetually wet and therefore 'lethal'
the hotel was rewired in 1933 by a man who did electric work as an amateur hobby.
the passing coal cars shake the hotel so violently the roof is a wishwash of loose rooftiles slowly making their way to the gutter and from there, the street below. like an 80s computer game pedestrians shuffle back and forth avoiding falling objects.
maids are crepuscular, and should not be touched.