god visited me in my sleep

i was visited by god one night. it was like the ghost train and the prancing horses all in one. a feeling of dizziness and eternality. we talked a little but mostly we just hung out together. i asked him if i was already dead, if i had died some time ago and what i was living in was just some future echo of what i could have been, only muted and muffled. he said yes, that it was just exactly as i said. we talked about the precise moment where i had stopped living. it was clear and obvious of course with hindsight, and in fact i had always known it. i told him i didnt want to be some ghost in a wishing well and he said that would never be the case, that i was never going to be a ghost and that there were no such things anyway. we mused on many things. he pointed out all the coincidences in my life. and it all seemed so obvious. but unlike a magicians trick it didnt degrade in my mind. then we went round to the shooting gallery. he won a fish in a bag. slowly the funfair began to shut down. more people left. the lights went off, till there was just lifeless rides and the chatter of people as they made their way home. we walked away, content but tired. gods fish died while still in the bag but he released it into the stream under the bridge anyway and it floated upturned on its way. we walked alongside the stream, it was filled with shopping trolleys and plastic bags but it was still flowing fast. we walked past the cement factory and the green warehouses then down to mckinlays. he asked if i wanted a drink, that there was a good band playing later, but i declined making an excuse about having something to do. i really just wanted to be by myself and not have to talk or listen. when i woke up i was scared. and was sick on the floor at the thought of the utter hopelessness and despair in everything. a stretch of panic. then i fell asleep. when i woke up in the morning there was no sick on the floor. the sickness had just been a dream.

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2 Responses to god visited me in my sleep

  1. Belladonna says:

    he's god, surely he could have brought the little fish back to life? that just shows a lack of compassion that does.

  2. navelgazer says:

    poor god. he's not very chipper company, is he? I wonder who he finds to drink with if not paul of navarone. I would like to imagine the two of you having some excellent mad chats.btw, if you're dead, I guess that makes me part of your ongoing dream… can I have some more money, please?

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