residents are asked to check their outhouses and cellars etc….

 

lost cat-

burglar

retired senile cat burglar Henry Cranford aka 'the cat' has wandered off from his old folks home. "its not the first time hes ran off." says care assistant Jemma Flunt. " i think someone else might be feeding him because he usually wanders back after a couple of days…this is the longest he's been gone."

single ladies or elderly widows expecting a nubile Cary Grant type figure will be dissapointed. "he's as ugly as sin" reports Patricia Trunk. " forget 'to catch a thief' – he's a cross between Bela Lugosi and Ironside. it's not that it isnt exciting, but he's damaging roof tiles lurking about up there. the old fool put his foot through mrs Fenchs skylight last week. she had to get some ladders and push his foot out with a broom. and not a word of thanks she says…he just limps off….cursing."

residents are asked to be vigilant for someone with a thick black coat and white booties, answers to the name Henry. he was last seen around the duck pond. trying to catch birds.

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5 Responses to residents are asked to check their outhouses and cellars etc….

  1. [هذا هو الحكم]

  2. SweetMisery says:

    and not a word of thanks she says. I love it. Thanks

  3. I'll try to catch him with a saucer of scotch.

  4. dewitte says:

    It's particularly sad when this happens. Old senile people escaping from their retirement homes and wandering the streets. We've had numerous instances where, after a long search, they turn up working in the local grocery stores as greeters. They put on a big red or blue hats and pass out stickers to all the school children at the door. It takes a keen eye, but you can usually find them because they are careless and leave piles of Twinkie wrappers around their lockers. If they successfully get out once, it is really hard to keep them captive from that point forward.

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