here to help…..

Ever struggled with simple tasks you should really know how to do by now? Our simple instructional leaflets fill you in without having to ask someone who’ll ridicule your backwardness for their own cruel glee. Subjects include: how to tie shoelaces/how to forward roll/how to tell the time/how to eat spaghetti/how to put on a coat.  send now with problem task, Ref:bakwrd

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7 Responses to here to help…..

  1. AmyH says:

    Ref: bakwrd
    Dear Whomever it May Concern,
    Do you by any chance have leaflets on the following subjects?
    1. How to walk and chew gum at the same time2. How to match socks3. How to eat soup4. How to read leaflets in the right page order
    Thank you in advance for your assistance.

  2. Dear Sir:
    My sneakers make farting sounds when my socked feet slide around the heel area. Either I am tying my Keds too tight and then they pinch my feet or too loose (lautrec) and then they make fart sounds.
    Have you any information leaflets on silencing farting sneakers?
    With Kind Regards, Bunny

    Ref:bakwrd

  3. dear amyh,
    congratulations, you've made the first brave step towards a clearer, smarter world.
    1.indeed! dispatched! we take you through a four month process from lying prone chewing gum to sitting chewing gum to crawling chewing gum to walking chewing gum. we offer an advanced leaflet of running whilst chewing gum. yes! running! who would have thought it possible.
    2. indeed! dispatched! our leaflet will show you how to train a rabbit to take care of this thankless, impossible task for you. no more embarrasing corporate meetings or office pow-wows with odd socks.
    3. indeed! dispatched! our leaflet will have you eating soup as if it were water with bits in. no more dropping it straight into your lap. nor running it down your chin, nor dropping your head face first into the bowl and lapping like a poodle. you shall be fit to eat soup with the queen after this easy to read, waterproof leaflet.
    4. gosh. i think you've trumped us there. we'll get straight to work!

  4. dear grumblebunny,
    congratulations, you've made the first brave step towards a clearer, smarter world.
    you have explained your problem with real humanity, we may use your statement in a leaflet marketing campaign.
    indeed! dispatched! this leaflet is our biggest seller. we show you how to make a fluffy concrete paste from ordinary household foodstuffs and cleaners so as to pour into your sneakers-permanently fixing your feet within your shoes. no more time spent untying and tying laces or removing shoes at bedtime or in the shower. a real time-saver in this respect.

  5. or in the shower.My shower could do with a fine scrubbing, so this may just be what is needed – to not have to take my shoes off. Thank you kind Sir.

  6. navelgazer says:

    dear sirs,I have strong hopes that your publishing team has put together a leaflet on stapling (as opposed to stapling on a leaflet). I'm just having the dangedest time with it! if you can help with my little problem, my mother, landlord, and neighbors will all be grateful.in hope,navelly.

  7. dear navelly, congratulations, you've made the first brave step towards a clearer, smarter world. if you refer to stomach stapling. a drastic gastric method to reduce weight gainery, then indeed we do have a leaflet on such. in fact we have superceded this method here at navarone healthcare. prepare your neighbours for the zip open tummy diet. eat as many chocolate sundaes as you wish then simply remove the sundae via the large metal zip located at the base of your stomach. or perhaps our GROMM tm. or mulching units soon to appear in our advertising section within the blog of navarone.
    if you refer to paper stapling we have found it best to avoid them wholeheartedly. 60% of deaths in the workplace involve the humble office stapler, 70% of these deaths are fatal and a further 10% of these involve serious injury. if you wish to join two bits of paper why not try chewing gum, ear wax or spit?

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