glasgow village local news

a long since abandoned spiders web has become covered in dust and inhabits the left leg hole of james murdochs green wellington boot.
on his deathbed albert mandible said nearly every facet of his life had exceeded his expectations and he contentedly slipped away.
young jamie luggin put a penny on the railway track and marvelled as the passing train squished it flat.
mr martin leaves the radio on in his greenhouse so someone is always talking to his plants.
mary deed has placed a collection of pinecones on her windowsill.
there are fourteen dead flies and wasps in the windowsill of the tam o shanter pub. they have been there for months.
malkie duntober has ripped his choirboy costume on a hawthorn bush.
ronald bafferty has made himself a sharks fin out of a belt, cardboard from cereal boxes and black paint.
while peeling the old wallpaper from their new home, jane and ewan grant uncovered childish doodles done by a long gone decorator.
john fark fantasises about robbing banks and stealing from pension funds whilst commuting to his work.
angus and moira mcgrew like to do the times crossword. there is a particular type of question that angus gets and a particular type that moira gets and so together they are a good team.
young heather lorne is just learning to write.
jack varnochs garden gate latch has broken.
mr hutch says that kids have jammed an old rubber washer in the coiln slot of the public telephone on the main street.
david taggart has taken down his birdhouse. after 3 years no bird has ever used it. he burned it on his garden bonfire.
davy lackers caught his grandson joe smoking a cigarette and forced him to finish the whole packet. joe managed this easily as he has been smoking for years.
lucy partrid has bought thick green curtains to try and dampen the buffle and noise from the main street.
a wood pigeon is nesting outside gerry tates bedroom window. he watches it in  the morning when he wakes.
gregor and his dad joe mcgrath have built a sail boat out of wood and dowels and intend to launch it in the duck pond. they have painted its hull red and the deck blue and named it the dee dee after their old dog.
sally tate, not wishing to dissapoint her mother has been bringing her uneaten lunchtime sandwiches home from school and burying them in the garden. she eats too many sweets says her mother, who found the mouldy sandwiches whilst gardening.
nicholas and dave stole a watermelon from the grocers and fired stones at it in the quarry with catapults.
kenny dunlop has made a tree swing in the park with rope and an old plank.
the bonnet catch has rusted shut on george burlaps old cortina.
kerry ferns spent the weekend picking up lost gloves in the street. she put the ragtag assortment of gloves on the park fence.
john mcgurk had to chase some boys from the lane behind the library. they were setting off bangers to disturb the readers inside.
frank dunn has jammed his electric meter with a lollipop stick so as to save money.
ken lomas has discovered a dead cat by the side of the old farm road. it is black with two white front paws. it smells very bad.
donald bracken says a large pothole has developed in church street.

Read and post comments | Send to a friend

This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to glasgow village local news

  1. navelgazer says:

    thank goodness for the glasgow villlage local news this morning. I really needed it. and thank goodness for the paul. i'm very glad mrs klaussman let him out of the metal steam bin long enough to type us an update.

  2. navelgazer says:

    (not that I doubt the purity of his heart by any means)

  3. alas the widow klaussman is transcribing whilst i dictate from within my iron cell.
    she gave me time out to go to the dentist yesterday. i am avoiding cursing the old cow. with each evil thought my time within the bin increases.

  4. I always heartily enjoy the GVLN!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s