welcome adventurers and treasure seekers!….

your ship 'the mrs klaussman' is docked offshore.

you are standing on the beach beneath the mighty rock of navarone. you have all your equipment in your inventory to use for your journey inside the rock of navarone. the sea is lapping against the beach. the sky is red from the fiery guns of navarone castle. the Count no doubt waits inside.

a cave appears to be the only way inside the rock.

all that is left to do is pick your character type. carefully insert the number of your desired character.

1. magician

2. barbarian

3. elf

4. dwarf

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30 Responses to welcome adventurers and treasure seekers!….

  1. user error
    you have been randomly assigned the character: accountant.
    your special skills are: good penmanship/cleanliness/thick ankles
    inside the cave there is a heavy door, it is locked. bones of animals lie all around. the cave smells foosty. it is now raining outside the cave
    what do you want to do?

  2. Woo hoo! You have magically been assigned cleanliness skills! It might almost be worth the thick ankles.
    *fingers beard* I'm feeling rather like a dwarven wench today. I will take the box behind number 4.

  3. you have selected 3. male elf.
    your special skills are: television repair/carpet cleaning/millinery.
    inside the cave there is a heavy door, it is locked. a puzzled accountant with thick ankles and a briefcase stands to your left. she appears clean but there is a foosty smell in the cave.
    what do you want to do?

  4. What is the origin of the foosty smell? Is it the carpet in the cave? I offer to sew the accountant some clothes that will hide those godawful ankles.

  5. navelgazer says:

    <picks up bones and begins to gnaw on them><shakes briefcase to see if anything good is inside><sniffs heavy door, but hard to make out anything past feetness>

  6. beside you stands a television repair elf with a fine hat. the elf is sewing you large socks. your briefcase contains a variety of poor quality duck ornaments and a broken corkscrew. whilst sniffing the heavy wooden door a wooden splinter sticks in your nose. your screams start a rockfall inside the cave. you and the television repair elf are dead, crushed by falling boulders.
    would you like to play again? carefully press y or n.

  7. navelgazer says:

    <is afraid to touch anything>

  8. JennyExiled says:

    Okay, I want to be a magician, but a HOT one (i.e. no thick ankles, thank you).

  9. LMAO!! Dang, I'm dead already. Thanks, you thick ankled sniffing lug!

  10. Jamie says:

    I wanna be a magician, too. I don't care if I'm hot, though, I'm used to thick ankles. I just want to be able to do things like make people blow milk out of their nose on command. If not that then a barbarian…I'm really good at tearing stuff up.

  11. cha0tic says:

    You made me choke on coffee, I now have a damp stain on my carpet where I had to spit the coffee out or die.* You're a bad person (But really funny with it)*Maybe that's where the foosty smell comes from?

  12. I pick #2, because I have some predisposition towards being barbaric. I used to stand and eat at the kitchen counter and my Mother always told me that was barbaric.

  13. you have chosen elf.
    your random special skills are: horseriding/optometry/pipe smoking.
    you are standing on the beach of navarone.a rockfall has buried someone with good hygiene and a dainty hat lies nearby.there are steps carved into the rockface to the left.
    what do you want to do?

  14. user error
    you have been randomly assigned the character: bobby ewing
    your special skills are: telemarketing/plumbing/balloon animal tying
    you are standing on the beach of navarone. an elf is also on the beach.it is raining. you have left the house without locking the front door.there are steps carved into the rockface to the left.
    what do you want to do?

  15. user error
    you have been randomly assigned the character: traffic warden
    your random special skills are: speed typing/lying still/oversized hands
    you are standing on the beach of navarone. an elf is also on the beach. a bobby ewing is also on the beach. the sun is shining. there are steps carved into the rockface to the left.
    please select mortgage type.
    1. capped rate2. endowment3. fixed rate4. variable rate

  16. you have selected dwarf.
    your random special skills are: bookbinding/drywalling/horse whispering
    you are standing on the beach of navarone. a elf is on the beach. a bobby ewing is on the beach. a traffic warden is on the beach. it is raining. there are steps carved into the rockface to the left.
    please order these peruvian presidents in reverse order and write an essay discussing the 180yr democratic evolution of peru.
    1. simon bolivar2. antonio jose de sucre3. jose de la riva aguero4. andres de santa cruz

  17. cha0tic says:

    Use large hands on Bobby Ewing then lie Still

  18. you have chosen poorly adventurer.
    the correct answer was: endowment mortgage
    the mortgage monster has crippled your party with everlasting debt.
    better luck next time on 'THE ROCK OF NAVARONE' t.m.
    would you like to play again? carefully press y or n.

  19. user error
    you have selected white coffee
    would you like sugar? carefully press y or n

  20. Jamie says:

    I want to use my balloon animal skills to fashion a huge balloon elephant that I'd want to fill with helium and tie to the elf. I'd put the elf on a string so he couldn't float away. If he happened to float away, anyhow, I'd use my plumbing skills to
    fashion a spit cannon and shoot him down before he got very far. I'd raise him up so that he could tell me what was at the top of the stairs before I make my next move.

  21. ERROR_INSTALL_SERVICE_ FAILURE 1601 The Windows navarone service could not be accessed. Contact your support personnel to verify that the Windows Installer service is properly registered.ERROR_INSTALL_USEREXIT 1602 User cancel installation.ERROR_INSTALL_FAILURE 1603 Fatal error during installation.ERROR_INSTALL_SUSPEND 1604 Installation suspended, incomplete.ERROR_UNKNOWN_PRODUCT 1605 This action is only valid for products that are currently installed.ERROR_UNKNOWN_FEATURE 1606 Feature ID not registered.ERROR_UNKNOWN_COMPONENT 1607 Component ID not registered.ERROR_UNKNOWN_PROPERTY 1608 Unknown property.

  22. Jamie says:

    Dang it! Just when I found a game I liked.

  23. Too late to play… the story of my life. (…sigh…)

  24. actually you won. like little matthew broderick in war games, the only way to truly win is not to play at all.

  25. "little matthew broderick"Oh,Gawd! Those three words made coffee shoot out my nose. I'm awake now!

  26. Thank you , no. i prefer simone de bouvier to simon bolivar, thank you very much. 😉

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