this is a jazz poetry box. i have the universal copyright on jazz poetry boxes but im going to show you how to make your own as long as you dont use it to make millions of pounds.
first you need a don tomas honduran cigar box. if you dont have a don tomas box you can use a ramon allones havana cigar box. if you dont have a ramon allones you can use any old fucking box. but dont use a bloody shoe box.
then you need to get a conservative newspaper. i use the daily mail, an especially turgid little rag. but you can use any acceptable regional variant.
then you need to cut out all the little column headers. those are the ones that arent the full size main headlines and arent the main text. they are usually about 4mm high. sometimes larger text is inserted in the body of the main text to grab your eye. we newsmen call these giraffe text. you can cut those out too.
put all the cut outs into your jazz poetry box. then you have to give your box a girls name. my box is called Carmella.
then you pick out 5 or 6 at random and read them out loud in the order you pulled them out. if you have a bongo drum you should hit that periodically in between outbursts. if you have a beret you should be wearing it now. and project your voice so the people at the back can hear. take random pauses. look around. smoke a cigarrette.