original chinese A-team

the eight chinese immortals are the original A-team.they are a rag tag bunch with special abilities who started out human and later achieved immortality.

 

zhongli quan is the second oldest eight immortal. he carries a fan which can revive the dead.
he cried for seven days solid after his birth, shutting up on the eighth day. he served as a general during the han dynasty.

 

old man zhang guo loves wine and can make booze from all types of shrubs and herbs. the other eight immortals drink the booze he makes for its magic healing and medicinal properties.
he is a master of breath regulation and can live without food for days-living on a few sips of wine. he travels on a donkey. but sits backwards. when he stops to take a rest he turns his donkey into paper, folds it up and puts it in his wallet. when he wants the donkey back he spits on the paper and the donkey changes back.

 

 

han xiang. he fell out of a peach tree and died. he was brought back to life and became immortal. he plays jazz flute. his flute gives life.

 

 

lu dongbin is the team boss. when he was 20 he decided to be a civil servant but flunked the exam twice. he fell asleep cooking his dinner one day and had a dream showing all of his future life-that he would pass the imperial exam the third time and excell. he would get promoted. marry a rich mans daughter,have a son and a daughter and get promoted again to prime minister. his success and luck would piss others off though and he would be falsley accused of crimes and lose his office. his wife would betray him. his children would be killed by bandits and he would lose all his money. as he saw himself dying on the street he woke up.
not liking how his future life looked he sidestepped his fate and became immortal.he carries a magic sword and a flys whisker.(hes that good with the sword!) hes a bit of a womaniser and likes the drink. he has mastered the five elements and ying and yang and used these to sleep with hot women.

 

lan caihe is a mystery. lans age and sex are unknown. sometimes he is a boy, an aged man or a girl. he/she carries flowers. hes a bit of a nutjob. he wears only shorts and skimpy shirts in winter. in summer he wears thick coats and trousers. sometimes in summer he wears a coat made out of wood just to mix it up. his hobbies are singing and begging. s/he only ever wears one shoe. the other foot is bare. he carries a garden hoe.

 

iron crutch li is the oldest team member. hes grumpy. bad tempered, ugly, scruffy, unshaven and hes got permanent bed hair. his face is dirty.
he used to be good looking and was a master of meditation. whilst in a deep meditative state for six days his spirit travelled off to heaven for kicks. his apprentice thought he had died and cremated him. when his spirit came back he was forced to find another body. he seen an ugly cripples corpse in a ditch and thought 'why not' this is why he looks like a bum. he carries a metal crutch and a magic gourd which he uses to heal the sick and homeless. at night he can shrink his body so small he can fit in his magic gourd and keep warm.

 

royal uncle cao is the newest recruit. hes a snappy dresser. he has jade tablet which can purify the environment.     {big deal}

 

 

immortal woman he. she is the only woman in the team if you dont count lan caihe. she can fly. she likes fruit. she has vowed to remain a virgin and never marry. she carries a lotus flower that can improve mental and physical health. shes a fox.

the illustration are by yongshou zhang.
and its all true. ye can lookitup!

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3 Responses to original chinese A-team

  1. Ishtar says:

    Ha! Nice paper-cuts.

  2. yeh i love the paper-cuts. thinking of putting them on my wall.

  3. I enjoyed this post very much, not as much as the glasgow village local news (of which I would love to read another update!), but enjoyed nonetheless.

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