glasgow village. local news.

-Mrs Beaumont recently received 5 pounds through the post for an overpaid gas bill
-Mr Peterson’s beloved pot plant died of over watering
-Mr Grant has fixed his squeaky gate with pure grade WD40. It swishes open and shut.
-Mr Clark recently found a mackerel at the back of his freezer while defrosting. Mrs Clark used to love mackerels and he decided to cook it as he couldn’t bear throw it out
-The spider above Mrs Fosters shed door has laid a big white cocoon of baby spiders
-Joanne Stewart’s daughter Katie has just learned how to tie her laces.
-Miss Jenkins has fully recovered from her bout of flu.
-Mr Lionel Hutch had to chase some young boys from his allotment shed. He believes they were smoking cigarettes and had broken the lock.
-Mr Peter Trent took back a 19-year overdue copy of tintin destination moon on a library fine armistice day. 
-Kevin Smith missed his dental check-up.
-George Davidson has been getting slight twitches in his left eye.
-Martin Jones dropped his car key down the stank outside his house but he was able to hook them with a straightened wire coat hanger.
-Richard Kaussman and his wife have had a fight. Both of them want to make up but nobody wants to go first
-Mrs Croden has to wear a neck brace for a month.
-Mr Roddy Smith has a bad case of ear and throat conkers, he has been in bed since april.
-Mr Purden (retired) has taken to picking litter up in the street and depositing it in the bin.
-Mr Frances Dorsey has put a pair of brogues in to be fixed. They leak in  poor weather.
-Oliver Weeks has started his own novel: “the public transport murders”
-Abigail Wherewithal has left the Trents employ.
-the Loftens gazebo has partly blown down.
-Daniel Burden has eaten something which disagrees with him
-Lorna Turnbush has passed her driving test. Gavin has bought her some elbow length driving gloves
-Malcolm Munn has apologised to Jackie Bentine.
-Mr Hutch had to chase some children from the telephone box at the end of his street. He believes they were pushing chewing gum into the receiver(chewing gum was also found on the button of one of the pedestrian crossings! these same boys may be to blame)
-Mr Angus Bodens hip operation went very well, he thanks everyone for their concern. 
-Julie Anne Tate missed her doctors appointment.
-the gutterin above Jean & Davids outhouse is blocked.
-Ben Smith is bedridden..
-Jim and Glenda Hafton are celebrating a “considerable”bingo win.
-Archie has stepped down as club secretary.
-Elderly Gladys Peeps has allowed the milk to pile up on her doorstep as a tasteless joke.
-Jeff Topknot is over the death of his wife
-Elizabeth Barr has had a molar removed
-Fran Toddy is in Bulgaria on business
-Little Angus Deft dropped his ant farm indoors. Pest control has the situation in hand
-Colin Butterfield has found ten pounds in an old jacket.
-Jeanie Bunn has cooked a pie for the limp club raffle
-Lizzie Mcduffin has discovered a fish allergy
-Harvey Vaughan is holding a party to celebrate his 3 weeks ‘off the wagon.’
-Milly Lavender needs a frellish gravy boat to complete the set.
-Mr Duran says he can see the woman across the street in various racy states of  dressings and would she please draw her curtains
-old Tommy Cawns trellis and ivy has collapsed due to feeblish workmanship. Volunteers please.
-Ira Lindin says anyone who wants his sideboard can have it 
-Eli Puthaw has broken his right arm.
It seems while playing tig young Eli chased Mary Bernadette into the girls’ toilet where she slammed the heavy wooden door behind her-cleanly breaking Eli’s outstretched arm.
-The two Pauls discovered an injured fox hiding under one of the classroom portacabins and reported it to the rspca. It was injured (by a car most likely) and was put to sleep. The two Pauls are sorry they reported it at all.
-Victoria Humber has still not taken down her Christmas decorations.
-Janet dun Mullin has fallen again. “Theres no more space on my hip for any more pins” she says.
-Davy Fedders says if he catches the person who broke his greenhouse window he’ll smack all the tartar off their teeth.
-Mr Hutch says someone(probably kids) have taken the plastic stick from a box of dates and stuck it in the receipt slot of the atm machine on the main road but he has fished it out.

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3 Responses to glasgow village. local news.

  1. dewitte says:

    Yay Collin Butterfield – I LOVE when that happens!

  2. drinks are on Butterfield.

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