ladies and gentlemen…the future of soft drinks.



or so we were led to believe.

even now it rankles. how i was duped with the glossy marketing campaign. how my parents were duped with the promise of cheap ginger.

it was genius on the part of the drinks companies. remove the carbonation step from the manufacturing process. have the customer put it in themselves. those clever bastards. its like the burger companies giving you a cow and a knife and two bits of bread.

you put the magic condensated gloop into a bottle. you add water. your own water. they dont supply that. you put it in, pull the lever and push the button till it squeels like a scabby heided wean. my friend got a later model where the door would swoosh open automatically using extra gas from the gas bottle. lucky sod.

in the end i tried to make fizzy milk. if that would have worked i'd be sitting on millions now. it didnt work. i slumped into a long depression. anyway i forgot to clean the sodastream after the experiment and the milk gunked in the pipes. it stank and anytime someone wanted a drink they would get bits of lumpy yoghurt in their juice.


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2 Responses to ladies and gentlemen…the future of soft drinks.

  1. Jamie says:

    You forgot a key ingredient, that's why it didn't work. Fizzy chocolate milk would have made you million! We have a version called Yoo-hoo, the kids love it.

  2. Oh, this isn't the future…this is just a suped-up rerun!When I was a kid I remember seeing commercials for a local company that would bring soda kits to your house. I wish I could remember the name…All I remember is the commercial. A kid would take a gulp of the homemade soda and something between a grimace and a smile would creep across his face.(I bet sixbucksamonkey remembers that commercial)By the way…Yoohoo kicks ass!

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